If someone told you that you can control your feelings to a great extent, would you try it?
Would you be persistent enough to make a change?
I am among those people, who believe that each and every single one of us can change!
But every change requires action and every success requires effort.
I believe that:
- If you really want, you can change your live and turn your misery into happiness.
- You can overcome your fears and fulfill your dreams.
- You can fight unhealthy anxiety and begin to live a calmer life.
- And most importantly, you can learn to love your fellow human beings in a healthy way when you first learn to love yourself and fall in love with life.
Life is short and we should not wake up every day feeling sad. We should not wake up unhappy when we are amongst the luckiest people on earth (we are not hungry, we have a roof above our head, we do not live in a war zone, etc.).
We should not be afraid to dare and to make our dreams reality.
We should not spend most of our time feeling stressed.
Finally, we should stop choosing friendships and/or entering relationships that have nothing to do with how love should feel
It is unacceptable, but how many of us experience the above emotions daily?
How many in reality are not happy at all, but they reply I am okay to the question, “How are you?”.
How many of us would have liked to have a magic button that would allow us to stop the feeling of unbearable pain, intense regret, excessive anxiety and explosive anger?
So, is there a way to control our feelings?
The answer is yes and not only one.
Our feelings can be regulated in many different ways.
But what we have to understand is that some of these ways can be very beneficial for us, but some others can harm us and cause us permanent damage.
Examples of techniques that can harm us are:
1) The technique of avoidance, often used by many people.
With this technique, we choose not to experience a situation at all (e.g. I’m afraid of airplanes, so I will not fly, I’m afraid of the dentist, so I will not visit him, interviews stress me and I might fail, so I will not show up).
This technique, although it can temporarily relieve us, will negatively affect us in the long run.
Imagine a life without the opportunity to visit magical, exotic destinations, or a life without the opportunity to visit friends or relatives that live abroad.
Think of a life without doing your dream job or a life where we avoid to take the necessary steps in order to take care of your health.
Thus, in many cases, the avoidance technique should not be chosen, not only because it can put ourselves at risk, but because in this way we can miss important opportunities in our lives.
2) Negative response techniques can also harm us, such as: drugs, uncontrollable food intake and alcohol. Unfortunately, many young people choose negative response techniques because they offer a quick relief from the problematic situation they are experiencing.
These techniques, however, do not solve the problem.
These techniques cannot save you.
They can only numb you for a while, make you forget for a while.
You will forget your problem yes, but you will destroy your mental, physical and psychological health.
Would you like to learn how to regulate your feelings with healthy techniques?
Book your free strategic Life Coaching session with Dr. Anna Pavlina Charalambous, ACC